i kind of never want to post anything on tumblr because it is really upsetting to me when people drool all over white feminist bullshit and white trans bullshit and white anarchist bullshit and occasionally reblog pictures of POC to ostensibly make them look like less of a racist shit or something (I SEE YOU) but totally skim over reading the giant article about how US troops are still running military “exercises” and raping people in the philippines and how folks in the philippines are resisting and protesting and being silenced by the US controlled/pandering/puppet government.
i bet y’all didn’t even know that the US military was in the philippines. i bet you didn’t fucking know that they never left. and you don’t care because it’s not relevant to you and i am consumed daily with the knowledge that i am a product of white sexual colonialism.
and i’ve been thinking about whiteness and sex a lot lately and how i don’t know how to handle knowing that people i’ve dated and fucked once did and still tokenize and exotify me and what it means that i exist because of this exact dynamic. and also how i feel extremely uncomfortable in situations where i’m someone’s only POC friend (because i am light skinned and mixed and less threatening to whiteness!) or their first nonwhite partner/fuck/whatever which was way too many of my relationships in high school and i really wish still wasn’t a thing that i have to think about. and how i’m aware that people may use their relationship with me to mentally justify/excuse/dismiss/ignore their racism.
i’ve been having anxiety attacks for weeks thinking about this and being surrounded by white people who don’t get it and won’t get it and will never fucking shut up. i want to stab everyone who says the phrase “eastern culture.” i want to kill every orientalist exotifying piece of shit. i want to make every white boy with an “asian fetish” eat his own bloody testicles. i want to strangle the white trans and cis men who raped me. i want to cut my father’s dick off and mail tiny pieces of it back to him. i want to gouge out the eyes of anyone who has ever called me or anyone their asian friend, asian girlfriend, asian boyfriend, asian good at math friend I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING FRIEND
I HATE WHITE PEOPLE.
I HATE YOU SO MUCH.
I HOPE YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE RIGHT NOW.
I HOPE YOU THINK I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU.
―Kate Bornstein, Gender Outlaw (via foldedpaperstories)
(Source: voiceofthedogs)
We Can’t Be Equal While:
Gender Roles
- Men are the default and women are the Other (and therefore lesser).
- Being called “girly” or a “sissy” or “pussy” are some of the worst insults you can give a man.
- When a woman shows confidence in herself, she is said to “have balls”, or conversely she is a “man-eater”, “ball-buster”, or a “bitch” because she was “too” assertive.
- Men are beat up, ridiculed, or made fun of for being “effeminate” and women are beat up, ridiculed, or made fun of for being “masculine”.
- Many people get angry when a woman questions the intentions behind a “chivalrous” act from a man.
- There are men who refuse “chivalrous” acts from a woman, such as refusing to walk through a door that a woman holds open for them, while believing that it is rude for a woman to exercise the same right to refuse.
- Women can’t express anger without the very real fear of being accused of “hysterics” or being “shrill”.
- Women get scolded for “un-ladylike” behaviour: using coarse language, talking frankly about sex or other “impolite” topics, confidently voicing one’s dissenting opinion, etc.
- People continue to believe and perpetuate gender essentialism based on bad science or using actual studies to “prove” the innateness of gender roles when the study itself supports no such thing.
Relationships, Sex, and Sexuality
- For different-sex couples, women are expected to take their husband’s name, or at the very least hyphenate, but many men still balk at the idea of even considering adopting their wife’s name. If a woman decides to keep her name, both partners are interrogated and shamed by friends and family.
- For same-sex couples, people think it is okay to ask “who’s the woman/man of the couple?”
- Women are seen as the “gatekeepers” to morality/sexuality, charged with the duty of fending off the advances of men. If they fail then they were “asking for” it and/or are “damaged goods”. Their clothing/actions will always be questioned to see if they were “leading on” the man at all.
- Men are seen as “beasts” who are unable to control their “raging hormones” – which absolves them of guilt for “improper” sex (anything from date rape to sex outside of marriage) but also paints them as uncivilized brutes.
- Women are “sluts”, men are “players”.
- Women’s worth goes down according to how many sexual partners people think she has had.
- Men’s worth goes up according to how many sexual partners people think he has had.
- We live in a rape culture where many people continue to blame the victims of rape and domestic violence.
- We buy into the myth that all men (even minors) are, at all times, willing to fuck a “gorgeous” woman and any man who would pass up sex with a remotely attractive woman is deserving of ridicule.
- Wives/mothers are still expected to do most of the home/childcare, even if they have a job outside the home.
- Fathers/husbands are seen as bumbling dolts who are mentally incapable of cooking, cleaning, taking care of the children, or any other traditionally feminine task.
- There are significantly more stay-at-home moms than there are dads.
- Men are expected to pay on a date, and some men expect women to put out for this “service”.
The Public Sphere
- Men continue to be a clear majority in the government, prominent positions in businesses, and other public places of power.
- There have been so few female leaders in most countries. For instance, in the Group of Eight:
- America has never had a female president.
- Canada’s first, and only, female prime minister was Kim Campell [1993].
- Britain’s first, and only, female prime minister was Margaret Thatcher [1979-1990].
- France’s first, and only, female prime minister was Edith Cresson [1991-1992].
- Italy has never had a female prime minister.
- Japan has never had a female prime minister.
- Russia has never had a female president.
- Germany’s first, and only, female Chancellor is Angela Merkel [2005].
- Pakistan, which is held up by many Americans as a “backward” country regarding women’s rights, elected a female prime minister, Benazir Bhutto, twice while Americans were still debating whether or not America was “ready” for a female president (here are some other female leaders who have been elected while America has been dragging its feet).
- There are still areas in our so-called “equal” societies where sex discrimination, sexual harassment and the glass ceiling are alive and kicking.
- It’s considered “big news” when articles tell mothers who work outside the home that they “can’t have it all”, but not so much when articles call for work reforms and male responsibility.
- Women in the sex trade, even those who have chosen the life, are treated as sub-human on a regular basis.
- It is not seen as sex discrimination to include harmful (and expensive!) items such as makeup and high heels in the requirements for a woman’s dress code while having no such constraints on the men’s dress code.
- Women are still discouraged from entering the sciences by social stereotypes, lack of job availability, and the continuing belief that women just aren’t smart enough.
- It is considered appropriate to attack a female public figure because of her appearance and fashion sense.
- One of the first ways to discredit women who speak up in public forums is to threaten sexual violence.
- Women are disproportionately affected by fat discrimination in the workforce and other places.
Appearance, Bodily Sovereignty, and Personhood
- Men’s bodies belong to no one but themselves; women’s uteri are seen as the property of men, the government, and even strangers.
- Women’s place as full-fledged legal and social adults is not assured.
- Women are seen first and foremost by their physical attributes and secondly by their relevant qualities.
- The double-standard of beauty is camouflaged under myths of empowerment and liberation.
- Women feel the need to undergo a potentially dangerous operation on their healthy vaginas in order to please their husbands/boyfriends by striving towards an unrealistic beauty standard set by mainstream porn.
- It is seen as appropriate for stranger and friend alike to give unsolicited comments on a woman’s appearance: her weight, fashion, leg/armpit hair, etc.
- Eating disorders, caused primarily by our society’s unhealthy obsession with fat, are still rampant among women (significantly more than among men).
- There are contests like “Pimp My Ride”.
And many, many other reasons.
For anyone looking for a simple Feminism 101 primer for people.
(Source: loveintheshadowsistheonlykind)
PSA post to my fellow feminists
trans*women can’t appropriate a woman’s identity
why?
because they are women.
Maybe this needs repeating- but being a woman transcends your genitalia or your chromosomes. Being a woman is how you…
It’s interesting because fashion and style is a site of liberatory feelings at times—moments of pleasure, mutual recognition, belonging, escape, and rebellion. But there is also the broader context of extreme violence and coercion in which we dress ourselves. There is the constant danger of feeling wrong, being punished, and being stared at. These two elements are often happening simultaneously. I think about this when I engage with people who I know are making choices about their appearances that are both highly endangering and also feel urgently important or wonderfully expressive. It is amazing how much so many people risk to wear their look. Certainly, many trans people exemplify this, risking extreme violence walking around offending gender norms and being beautiful.
"― Dean Spade in an interview with Queer Couture (via majesticlegay)
―
Anneli Rufus (via wewereemergencies)
^All of this.
(via foulmouthedliberty)
I feel like this so much.
(via afruit4thought)
She wrote a book called Party of One: a Loner’s Manifesto, which I recommend.
(via lesbianoutlaw)
(Source: airplanes)
Listen,
It does not matter what you say. As a woman, as a woman of color, as a woman of size, as a woman with large breasts or no breasts and a lifetime of experience with bucket loads of passion. It does…
―DEAR SUGAR, The Rumpus Advice Column #64: Tiny Beautiful Things - The Rumpus.net (via hello-amber)

